Anxiety is often called Britain’s silent epidemic, but what are we so afraid of?
Appearances can be deceiving. On the outside you can appear like a “normal” eighteen year old with nothing to fear, but on the inside it can be quite a different story. For many this is the case, entrapped in a never-ending kaleidoscope of fear, and unlike the common cold, there is no easy cure. No drug that can make everything completely fine, no quick fix that can set you right. Instead it’s a long campaign of counselling sessions, pills, meditation and coping strategies before you can feel “normal” again. Or perhaps that is the point.
Anxiety is a normal process and a natural response which our bodies undergo to protect us. It is our own personal bodyguard and warrior shield against a perceived and often non-existent threat. People with anxiety may be familiar with this notion. However, perhaps if we were able to recognise this shield for what it is and become the warriors ourselves, we could take back the power anxiety has over us. We could be stronger than it.
Anxiety, Mind and Mayhem
It is true that anxiety is all-consuming. When it comes…it comes fully armed and ready to strike. You feel like you’re going mad, like you’re going to die all of the time; worrying about everything, feeling out of control, worrying what you sound like and what you look like. The voice in your head, its constant. You can’t stop it. It’s exhausting.
There’s the fear of leaving the house, the panic attacks, the lethargy and feelings of faintness and the constant fear of not being able to cope. This is how a normal routine can suddenly become daunting and even the simplest of tasks like nipping round the corner for some more milk can become a battle. And often, at the times when we seek help, it can hinder us even further.
Finding Help and Carrying On
One thing to understand is the fact that not all GPs will be experts on anxiety. When I reflect on my first appointment with a GP, all I can do is smile. I was told to drink chamomile tea and that my feelings of depersonalisation didn’t exist. It is true that it can feel intimidating and stupid to be experiencing something which for you seems frightening and real while for everyone else it is something non-existent and incomprehensible.
The most important thing to realise is that you are never alone. Depersonalisation, for those of you who don’t know, is a strand of anxiety where an individual can experience feelings of disconnection and detachment from one’s body and thoughts. You only have to ask Google to get a definition these days, however without even knowing the name of what you’re experiencing it can be difficult to diagnose yourself. Therefore, one thing that can often help, is to find a blog where being able to read the experiences and feelings of other people can suddenly feel relatable and normal. It is true that finding someone who shares and understands your experiences is often the best treatment you can procure.
At the same time, I am not saying that doctors and medical professionals cannot help. Indeed, my second encounter with a doctor was quite a different experience. More than often GPs can be a stepping stone towards putting you into contact with counsellors, websites and coping techniques. Of course, there is also the option of medication, but winning the war against anxiety is, in most cases, not as easy as an endless prescription of drugs. While we can experience periods of relief, it is a part of us and something we have to learn not just to overcome; but to live with long term.
One thing I have realised with my experience is the importance of carrying on. Just having a routine can sometimes provide the best distraction. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my bad days, but to isolate yourself, and cut yourself off from all parts of life is the worst thing to do. Setting yourself goals- small targets- and feeling proud when you achieve them is all part of a process in becoming stronger; in becoming warriors. Substituting endless worry for a positive mantra is one way I can gear myself to face a task which seems daunting or terrifying. And there are a plethora of coping mechanisms all of which are more easily accessible than we think. From meditative tracks on Spotify, to tapping tutorials on YouTube, perhaps it is time to stop being afraid of an objectless threat waiting in the future.
A silent epidemic?
Anxiety is not an epidemic, and more than often there is nothing silent about it. As the American journalist Daniel Smith points out in Monkey Mind, an anxiety memoir that went on to become a New York Times bestseller, Freud wrote a book about it 90 years ago (The Problem of Anxiety), and Kierkegaard 80 years before him (The Concept of Anxiety), and Spinoza was the father of them both. But somehow it still feels new. There is always something shocking about the statistics or modern about its existence. Instead, it is a fundamental aspect of human functioning which has existed for centuries and one which has evolved with us. It is when we let our guard down and when we become consumed by our fears that anxiety thrives and becomes powerful. It waits, looking out for an opening, for some small chink in the defences we so carefully build up.
Sometimes anxiety is deeply rooted, sometimes it just exists for no particular reason. However, anxiety is also the experience of knowing that life might bring success, fulfilment and joy, combined with the fear that we don’t know how to ensure that’s what will happen. And while severe anxiety can certainly be debilitating, without it, we might never actually manage to rule out the potential for any dangers, and we might also find that we’ve ruled out the possibility of any good ones, too.
There is no doubt that choosing to be a warrior not a worrier puts the confidence back in you, so that we know whatever comes our way, we can draw our invisible swords… and breath.
Melissa Sutcliffe
BUTLER HUB 